Meet Vanessa Elizabeth, some slutty twenty-something that runs the blog Wander Onward. She's living in China, basically completely broke, and probably paying her bills by showing some skin in windows (read on.) She posted her list of 23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Engaged Before 23.It's pretty hilarious and extremely pathetic.
Read it here:
Kristen decided to respond to the list above. Her list is realistic, insightful, and hilarious IN A GOOD WAY.
Read it here:
1. Get a passport.
- I have a passport. I got one when I was 19 years old and have since traveled to 3 continents and 5 countries. I plan on adding more stamps to my passport in the many years to come—on vacations and adventures with my wonderful husband.
2. Find your “thing.”
- I found my “thing” at age 5—when I forced my brother and sister to be my students. I am making my “thing” my career by earning my bachelor’s degree and becoming a licensed teacher. (All while getting engaged and married before turning 23.)
3. Make out with a stranger.
- Nah. I grew out of that stage the second I walked into a party and laid eyes on the man I just married. Frankly, I'm embarrassed for ever going through that stage. I’d much rather make out with someone I know. And now I can make out with my husband whenever I want.
4. Adopt a pet.
- I adopted a puppy. Two actually. The first one was a disaster, and had to find a new home within a month. The second is a different story. He is my baby. But I can promise that it is 100 times easier to take care of him when I have my husband’s help. I would also never recommend anyone buying a pet of their own, especially a dog, while they are still in school. Way. Too. Stressful.
5. Start a band.
- Why? This is assuming everyone under the age of 23 is extremely musically inclined. I’ve been a one-woman-band for 22 years. My shampoo bottles, car steering wheel, and husband are much better fans than any real band has.
6. Make a cake. Make a second cake. Have your cake and eat it too.
- I’ve baked and eaten more cakes than I care to remember. I also make wedding cakes, bridal shower cakes, (for brides in their early 20s) and cupcakes for various occasions. And guess what?! My husband supports me through all of this. He even helps me be being my taste tester.
7. Get a tattoo. It’s more permanent than a marriage.
- I’ve wanted a tattoo since I can remember. Thank God I never got one. Until I married my husband, there has not been one event in my life that I really care to remember forever by engraving it on my skin. Do I still want a tattoo? Yes. Will I get one? Perhaps. But if I do, it will be something that reminds me of my husband and is something I will be happy about and proud of for the rest of my life.
8. Explore a new religion.
- LOL no? I have never once questioned my faith, and I never will. I am a FIRM believer in Jesus Christ, and nothing could ever change that. Sure, I educate myself on other religions, but that I so I am able to become a more understanding human being. I never want to lose my faith in the Lord.
9. Start a small business.
- At the age of 20 I had accomplished this. I run Sincerely, Cupcakes. I make cupcakes for graduations, baby showers, weddings, bridal showers, birthdays, and just for fun. GUESS WHAT? You’ll never believe it. My husband encourages me to continue doing it. So weird. It’s like he loves me unconditionally or something.
10. Cut your hair.
- NO FREAKING WAY. My mom cut my hair off when I was in 6th grade and I vowed to never again cut more than an inch off at a time. I love my long luxurious locks… so does my husband.
11. Date two people at once and see how long it takes to blow up in your face.
- This is perhaps the stupidest thing I have ever heard. ATTENTION LADIES!!!! You should all be whores and sluts before you get engaged. How about not? Why would anyone encourage others to cheat on their significant others? I would love to find out that two guys end up doing this exact thing to the girl who wrote this original list. How does it feel now?
12. Build something with your hands.
- If I’m not doing something with my hands, trying something new, or crafting, I am not happy. I have been this way since I was born. And now that I have married a crafty, hardworking, handy man, he can teach me how to create and build new things with my hands. AND we can build them together!
13. Accomplish a Pinterest project.
- Ohhhhh if you could see my house and the countless Hobby Lobby receipts laying around. I have accomplished a few too many Pinterest projects.
14. Join the Peace Corps.
- I joined a different group; a group of some of the toughest, smartest, STRONGEST women ever. I became an Air Force wife on December 30, 2013… at the age of 22. Sure, I wont be traveling to third world countries feeding starving children, but I will be traveling the world and feeding my starving Airman. My Airman who works to protect our country every day of his life. I wouldn’t be an Air Force wife right now if I didn’t get engaged before the age of 23.
15. Disappoint your parents.
- Did that at the age of 18. It’s a lot easier to brush off going to jail at 18 than it is at 23. Why would this ever be anyone’s goal? I would like to think that people are more mature than this BEFORE turning 23. Rather than disappoint my parents, I live to make them proud to call me their daughter.
16. Watch GIRLS, over and over again.
- I can’t even sit through an entire episode, so no thank you.
17. Eat a jar of Nutella in one sitting.
- First off, Nutella is not tasty. If I’m going to eat an entire jar of some type of spread, it’s going to be crunchy Biscoff. Now THAT is something I could do. But… being married certainly won’t stop me from accomplishing this task.
18. Make strangers feel uncomfortable in public places.
- Every day of my entire life. You know what’s really fun to do? Show some PDA with your husband in public. I’m not talking crazy make out sessions… but a little kissing here and there never hurt anyone. Plus, I’d rather make people envious of my love for my husband than uncomfortable.
19. Sign up for CrossFit.
- Jillian Michaels DVDs are so much better. They are free online, don’t involve driving to a gym, and you can do them at your own pace. Weird thing too.. THEY WORK! I don’t even know what CrossFit is, to be honest, but I’d probably hate it. I’d much rather take the dog on a walk or go for a walk with my husband.
20. Hangout naked in front of a window.
- LOL no one wants to see that… except my husband, of course. I’d also rather not be listed as a sex offender for exposing myself in public.
21. Write your feelings down in a blog.
22. Be selfish.
- I am. And it’s definitely not something I am proud of. Every day I work to become a more selfless person. You know who helps me with that? You guessed it! My husband.
23. Come with me to the Philippines for Chinese New Year.
- No. Just no.
So there you go. That's my rebuttle.